The Biggest Holiday Nobody Talks About

You walk into your local market and swear you can read the faces of the men around you. Co-workers appear to have a twinkle in their eye and a hop in their step. At times, you'd venture off to predict it's the calm before the storm.

With anticipation and keen acknowledgement of your surroundings, it's time to pull out the 'to-do' list. Eagerly, over the last few weeks, you've instituted a schedule that will put you in free sailing when the long awaited date gradually nears. In fact, you even project 'honey do' items that have not currently made their way onto the 'list', but have high probability of reaching it in the short term. Nothing can be overlooked and no stone unturned. With abnormal desire and determination to complete the duties and tasks at hand, extra points are earned from the 'green' woman in your life. The veteran ones know exactly what you're up to.

Nonetheless, time is running short and one last scan of the house and its needs are mandatory. Only days, hours, minutes left.

Yes gentlemen, the upcoming weekend holds significance that can be justly equated to that of major holidays. No gifts are exchanged, nor are cards given. Consequently, the holiday weekend comes without much conversation and leaves with a sigh of built-up relief, but its magnitude is simply unquantifiable for most men. Upon us, gentlemen, is the day we've been awaiting since early January.

Upcoming is officially, 'the last weekend before the college football season begins'. The name doesn't make for catching greeting cards. It won't even fit on most calendars. But for millions of men across the country it represents a sense of freedom.

Kiss the wife and kids on the forehead. Spend some quality 'family time' with them this Saturday, as it will be their last for quite a while.

Whatever you do men, do NOT leave a chore undone as this can set your season into a downward spiral that can be difficult and costly to stop.

Pull out the tailgating gear and make sure it is in fine working order. Assure your jersey still fits. Collect the necessary pre-game CD's. Prepare your 'game watching area' and re-assure it is the most effective place to spend 14 hours a day for the next 12 Saturday's. Lastly, detail out your season tailgating menu and stock the house with the appropriate ingredients as well as beverages.

We are almost there, gentlemen. Another season is upon us. Some of us will enjoy the success of our respective teams while others go through a heartbreaking season. Most of us will undoubtedly shout obscenities at the television while neighbors ponder why we are calling our wives or children 'stupid, blind incompetent @-holes'. Our wives will need to 'husband proof' the home to avoid excessive damage for the upcoming season. And once again, a thorough schedule will need to be communicated to the wife on the best times to talk to us during the next 12 Saturday's.

Most relatives will comply to the rules of not scheduling family outings during the season, but have a contingency plan handy if needed.

Last but not least, enjoy yourself this year. Afterall, its only a game.

DP